Friday, June 26, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Everything went well yesterday with my follow up with my oncologist. YAY!!!! It was such a long day I crashed. I'm having a bit of trouble kicking it into high gear today. This pic was from the first cup of bulletproof cawfeeeeeeee. . Trying my best to stay focused (ooh look a bunny) and stay sparkly. ✨✨✨✨. Have an amazing day my friends 💕💕💕💕🎀
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Helllllloooooo out there - how YOU doin? . Staying accountable. Two months down. One month to go. Crazy changes are being made and in surprising myself everyday with a new muscle, more strength and more endurance. I'm a yo-yo These days. A bunch of stress and an undercurrent of anxiety. I don't normally give into it but I ate my way through it. Tomorrow I get to follow up with my oncologist. Everything should go well but these things can get us crazy. When I figure out how to ditch the anxiety of here visits I think I'll get rich. Haha. Everything else is well. Bella's last day of 3rd grade is tomorrow. Summer is finally here!!! I'm lovin the heat and I will enjoy some time in the city tomorrow. Every day I do a little bit more even when I don't think I can. Once in awhile I take a day off. I think I only had three since I started. It feels so freakin good to be this consistent. #Blessed #Grateful #FuckCancer #iGotThis
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Thursday, June 18, 2015
I sat in a hospital bed waiting for my bilateral mastectomy. It was a great day because they were cutting the cancer (and more) out me. Once you get diagnosed you want to claw it out yourself!! This was going to be hard but the beginning of winning. "You gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... We must do that which we think we cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt. I had chosen faith over fear. I refused to give into any fear. I know too many survivors who said "you will be ok" and I knew if they did it I could too. Last year I celebrated in Vegas. This year it's quiet and low key. I no longer need a special day. I like to remember it but really #EveryDayIsAGift and intend to make the most of it, to only look back to see just how far I've come and to love and live in the present. #NeverGiveUp #FaithOverFear #FearlessVixen #CancerVixen #victim2vixen #StrongAsOak #StrongerThanYourAverageChick #PrincessWarrior #FuckCancer
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Every person who fights a battle has some very ugly days. It's not something we necessarily talk about and if we do we might not go into detail the sheer ugliness of it all. It is ugly. No matter how positive - there is so much that changes - some of the changes are sometimes to shocking to initially accept. You can tell someone they are beautiful a million times. I know they are too. But when you look in the mirror at the end of the day cancer (or whatever) rears its ugly head and tries to take over. It's hard to feel beautiful when all you want to do is make it all go away, struggle with why cancer chose you, and sometimes just wish for the day to end so you can see the sun tomorrow. It's hard to feel beautiful with scars and no hair - to truly reveal what's been underneath all this time. Acceptance helps. For some I'm sure it can be worse than for others. Yesterday was another amazing experience. I got to watch one of my pink sisters bloom. I watched her smile, a real smile, one that came from her heart, as she finally broke free from the ugly. She got to show off the true warrior she has been (she is still going through herceptin treatments) through it all. All the doubt was erased from her mind. For all of us we got to wear warrior paint and show off the heart of our battle. The side that said Fuck you to cancer, you messed with the wrong girl. And in the end you felt pretty. Free. Strong. Fearless. Beautiful. Thank you @ciaobellaphotos for this opportunity to be apart of your incredible project. #hotwportraitshoot #FearlessVixen #PrincessWarrior #photofy @photofyapp
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Today I have the honor to be apart of a breast cancer survivor photo shoot and film project. One of the things the photographer asked Ilya to do was finish a few sentences. My favorite is "I am...." . If you know me you know that I post affirmations for myself, for #pinksisters, for my clients and for everyone. These four are some of my favorites. I love to say I am loved. I am love, as well. . I'm super excited. I hope the clothes work out right for the image I'm trying to portray. Strong, feminine beauty with a fearless warrior's spirit. . I fought my battle and now I stand with my pink sisters and other cancer warriors throughout theirs. . #NeverGiveUp #Fearless #CancerVixen #WarriorPrincess
Friday, June 12, 2015
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
You may not have accomplished all your goals. You may hate that it's "only this " or "only that". Don't look at how far you have to go. Look at all that you have accomplished. . Most of all stop seeking validation from a square piece of digitally crafted bullshit that doesn't have a clue of what you're worth or just how are you work. . Everyday I hear "I was fine until I stepped on the scale this morning." I want to cry every time I hear that. It's amazing that a number, a volatile, always changing number can set the tone of our entire day. . Measure your goals in smaller accomplishments. What can you do today that you couldn't yesterday? Just how far have you come from last year? What obstacles did you overcome? What progress have you made that can't be summed up in pounds? There's SO many answers to those questions. . Look at all the good you've done. Sure there's stuff you haven't yet but you're getting there. Own it. Love it. Be it. Wear it - wear the confidence of knowing you are awesome, amazing, beautiful and not a victim to what a scale can make you imagine. . Be confident and let is SHINE ✨✨✨✨ That's more beautiful than anything. Your heart and soul will show in your smile and when you smile? The world smiles back at you 💖
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